Beyond the Quest for Self
Around 10 months ago, I published my first newsletter. It feels like it's been quite a journey since then. I didn't burden myself with many expectations, but I was truly passionate about this endeavour. So, I made a commitment to fully embrace the habit of creating newsletters only after I had crafted 30 issues.
Over time, a multitude of individuals have subscribed and extended their support through kind words. Even school friends I had lost touch with reconnected and expressed their amazement at my newsletter. Some strangers even went the extra mile to send me emails, sharing what they appreciated about this newsletter. It's been a remarkable phase in my life because, for an extended period, I grappled with how to fill the abundance of free time on my hands.
However, one specific memory stands out, occurring just a couple of months ago, with a friend who has sadly since passed away. She made a rather unconventional remark, stating that every time she encountered me, I appeared to be a different person. Initially, I was perplexed, uncertain if this was intended as a compliment or a subtle critique. So, I inquired, "What do you mean by a different person?"
Her response came after a thoughtful pause, and she replied, "I simply meant that every time I see you, you're embarking on something new. First, it was one thing, then another. Now, you're diving into a fresh endeavour once again. You consistently evolve your lifestyle, interests, and your perspective on life."
And I pondered, "Isn't that how it's meant to be?"
Leaving that conversation, I couldn't help but wear a broad smile. To me, it felt like the most profound compliment one could offer because it perfectly encapsulates the kind of person I aspire to be – someone who adapts, evolves, shapes, and forges their own path in life. Someone who holds the reins of their life and embraces multiple cycles of success and growth, even amidst the occasional setbacks and failures.
We were never intended to be like stagnant water. It's essential to release the grip on being static and complacent. This doesn't imply diminishing your worth to attain stability and security, but rather, it involves expanding your horizons.
With sufficient dedication to your hobbies, they become as second nature as speaking fluent English. This opens up room for something new to be incorporated. Perhaps, you can explore other hobbies. However, it's vital to remember to periodically revisit your skills to enable them to operate effortlessly, even subconsciously.
Never embark on a quest to "find yourself." The concept of a singular "you" is merely a construct conceived by your own mind. Each person who observes you carries a distinct interpretation of who you are. In fact, there are a multitude of versions of you, not a single one. There is no singular identity to discover, for you are a creation – someone built from the ground up every single day.
It's quite amusing how people casually toss around the phrase, "Just find yourself, and everything will fall into place." But rarely do they provide guidance on what exactly to seek. After all, if you don't know what ignites your soul, how can you keep that flame burning throughout your life?
The idea of "finding yourself" often carries an air of mystique and enchantment. Yet, rest assured, you won't stumble upon all the answers beneath a random rock. When people embark on extended vacations, they return with fresh perspectives on life, not with instant solutions to their dilemmas. A new perspective offers you the opportunity to view your own life from someone else's vantage point. It instils gratitude for what you have and can inspire meaningful changes based on this newfound outlook.
You are the creator of your life. And the key to finding answers is by taking action. If you go about it with no clear plan, chances are you won’t find what you are looking for. But if you truly dedicate time to getting to know your values, trying out new hobbies, and learning what you want to do on this big green and blue ball of rock, you will go far. With each iteration of failure and success, you will move closer to a life that feels like your true self. Not because you found it, but because you built it.
Encouraging 👏