But what if you have no dreams?

Many of us have internalized the idea that striving for success is a universal pursuit. We've been conditioned to believe in the imperative:

"Everyone should aim for success."

Assuming success is a tangible concept, as evidenced by the visibility of successful celebrities, it logically follows that there are individuals embodying the opposite end of the spectrum:

The so-called 'losers.'

I've rarely encountered the term 'loser' used directly in real-life conversations. It seems more like an unspoken, internal label we impose on ourselves, perhaps as a way to magnify our internal feelings of shame.

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

However, I contend that it's perfectly acceptable to embrace the identity of a 'loser.' It's acceptable to concede the pursuit of the highest levels of happiness, glory, status, wealth, or any other life goal. Here are three reasons why this perspective is valid:

#1 Not Everyone is Meant to Be Passionate

Imagine this:

It’s 5 a.m. You jump out of bed with the biggest smile on your face. You just can’t wait to start the day. You do cartwheels to the kitchen, you gulp your water and fruits and then do other chores happily. You are doing more cartwheels and drowning in euphoria.

Okay, that sounds very nice.

But is that the embodiment of success? It seems so. Especially when you watch self-improvement videos, you’ll find that the general premise is: “How to stop feeling miserable.”

To stop feeling miserable, you have to…be passionate. But how? I’m not sure that everyone wants to fake it until they make it. Faking implies that you reject your real emotions. Even worse, you start to blame them for not letting you live ‘the passionate life’.

So you start searching for the one and only activity that will save you,
a.k.a. your true passion. But then, not everyone has something they feel intensely towards. We’re sold the idea that we have to devote ourselves to a cause so that we’ll never feel frustrated, empty, or confused anymore.

If so, what about hobbies? Some people decide to write, draw, or do paint because they think it’s fun. They don’t feel the need to make something ‘productive’ out of it. Or ‘niching down’. Or becoming an expert. To them, feeling content and growing mentally is enough.

The loser says:
I don’t get why every activity you do needs to be turned into a life purpose.
And if not having a real passion makes me a loser, so be it.

#2 Not Everyone is Meant to Be Ambitious

Would you volunteer to be a leader, or do you prefer being led?

We need people on both sides. I think it all comes down to personality. If you take the ambitious road, you’re probably going to deal with a lot of pressure. Not everyone is able to handle that. Some will realize it and just give up.

But sometimes, giving up is just as hard (if not more) than pretending you’re fine with your profession. Especially when you’ve studied so many years, and you’re expected to become an accomplished worker.

“It would be shameful and stupid to aim lower”, says the inner voice.

Is that true? Some are fine with working a ‘mundane’ but less nerve-racking job. Some don’t mind climbing the corporate ladder. Others don’t even see their career as a top priority.

Moreover, we all experience ambition in different ways: Maybe you’re aiming for success, but you’d rather go at a slower pace. Maybe you value excellent work and mastery, but you don’t care much about competition.

The loser says:
I don’t get why I should force myself to be a highly driven individual.
And if not having much desire makes me a loser, so be it.

If you peer into the ‘loser’ label, you’ll find that Losers are losing something, but what exactly? Status? Validation? Abundance? Maybe.

But I think what they’re really losing, after all, is something much bigger:

Oh, wait. Maybe I don’t need to win the game.
I can go with the flow. I can be normal. I can figure it out slowly, and I can finally let go of the pressure to make something out of myself.

What if I don’t need to feel intense joy in what I do?
What if I am able to have satisfaction towards smaller things?
What if I was always special, and I just didn’t need to prove it?

We might be losing the expectation of what success should look like.

And if that makes us feel content, so be it.