But why she? Why not someone else?

On the flip side, when someone doesn't align with significant items on your checklist, they might be disqualified as a potential romantic partner.

Picture this: you're strolling down the street, everything seemingly ordinary, when suddenly he/she emerges from a nearby shop. And just like that, in an unexpected twist of fate, you find yourself falling head over heels for him/her at first glance! It's a whirlwind of emotions, right? But fear not, because there's a logical explanation nestled within the workings of your mind.

The mystery behind this phenomenon unravels when we delve into the inner workings of the human mind. If you're single or not currently entwined in a romantic relationship, your mind might be primed for a search for a potential partner. Even if you're convinced that you're not particularly focused on relationships at the moment, your subconscious is on the lookout for that elusive soul who could be your perfect match.

Every individual harbors a personalized checklist within their mind. This checklist comprises the prerequisites that someone must fulfill to earn your affection. Should an individual not align with certain aspects on this list, they are deemed ineligible as a prospective partner, leading you to regard them as a friend. Naturally, the contents of this checklist are distinct and particular to you, influenced by your heritage, principles, past encounters, and convictions.

The following is an example of a checklist of a guy called Jamal. His list starts with the following two conditions:

• Item one: She must be dark.

• Item two: She must be chubby. Jamal always failed to establish successful relationships with people that are not chubby and so his subconscious mind included this item in his list in order to help him compensate for his past failure.

If Jamal is presently unattached and crosses paths with an incredible young woman possessing fair skin, it's probable that he might not develop romantic feelings for her (unbeknownst to him, the underlying cause being her misalignment with his subconscious benchmarks).

Generally, individuals remain oblivious to their subconscious benchmarks, thereby attributing love to an enigmatic force governed by no discernible rules. The reality, however, is that upon becoming conscious of these latent criteria, they gain insight into the reasons behind their affection for specific individuals while not experiencing the same sentiments for others.

The Unique Checklist for Attraction

The Personalized Checklist: Every one of us possesses an unspoken catalogue of criteria that a person must meet to become a potential partner. This list is an accumulation of our life experiences, values, cultural background, and deeply held beliefs. These criteria are as diverse and distinct as the individuals who create them, making each checklist an intimate reflection of one's inner world.

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

When you meet someone who resonates with the items on your checklist, a sense of alignment occurs. It's as if your values, experiences, and aspirations have found a harmonious counterpart in another human being. This alignment creates a sense of comfort, recognition, and potential for a deeper connection.

The checklist plays a pivotal role in determining compatibility. When a person closely matches the items on your list, it often leads to a sense of ease and connection. The conversations flow effortlessly, common interests emerge, and shared values become apparent. This compatibility can spark the initial chemistry that draws you closer.

Disqualification and Friendship: On the flip side, when someone doesn't align with significant items on your checklist, they might be disqualified as a potential romantic partner. However, this doesn't diminish their worth as a person. Instead, they may transition into the category of friends or acquaintances, where you can still appreciate and value their unique qualities.

It's important to note that this mental checklist isn't static. It evolves with time, shaped by new experiences and personal growth. What you seek in a partner at one stage of life may differ from what you desire at another. This dynamic nature reflects our capacity for adaptation and change.

Vulnerability to Love's Allure.

Without a doubt, there's an element of vulnerability involved. Love has a way of catching us off guard, especially when our hearts are open to the idea. The enchantment of that first encounter lingers, creating a spark that might ignite into something more profound.

Vulnerability isn't a sign of weakness; rather, it's an expression of authenticity and honesty. It's the willingness to strip away the masks we wear and reveal our genuine selves to another. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we create a bridge that connects us to others on a profound level.

In matters of the heart, vulnerability is akin to swinging open the doors of your heart and inviting someone in. It's an act of trust, a recognition that the person you're connecting with will handle your emotions with care. This openness is essential for building deep emotional connections, where both individuals feel seen and understood.

Vulnerability and trust are intertwined. When you let your guard down, you place your trust in the hands of another. It's a risk, as you're relinquishing control over how the other person might respond. However, this very risk is what allows for genuine intimacy to blossom. It's the shared vulnerability that forms the foundation of a profound emotional bond.

Paradoxically, vulnerability is an act of strength. It requires courage to expose your emotions, fears and desires to another person. This is a demonstration of self-acceptance and self-love, as you allow yourself to be seen as you truly are, imperfections and all.

The Birthplace of Connection: When two individuals come together in a space of vulnerability, they create a space of deep connection. It's here that love's allure flourishes. The willingness to share your genuine thoughts and feelings fosters understanding, empathy, and compassion – the cornerstones of a meaningful and lasting relationship.

Embracing Love's Unpredictability: Vulnerability to love's allure means embracing the unpredictability of emotions. It's acknowledging that love isn't always smooth sailing; it's a journey that can lead to profound joy, but also moments of vulnerability and even heartache. However, it's in these moments that we truly learn, grow, and discover the depths of our own capacity to love and be loved.

In essence, the mystery of why "she/he" and not someone else lies in the interplay of your unique checklist and life's experiences. When someone aligns with your checklist, it can create a spark of attraction, forging a path toward love. Remember, it's this diversity of checklists that makes the world of human relationships so beautifully complex and endlessly fascinating.

P.S

Thank you for reading this edition but come to think of it, don’t you think your loved ones deserve to read something like this? If your guess is as good as mine, kindly share as much as you can.

I love you.