Humph……I tried to start this newsletter in different ways to make it ‘attention-grabbing’. I didn’t like any of the 5 ways. I erased what I wrote and glared at my screen for longer than necessary to think ‘How should I start this article?’
Then, I thought maybe this is the problem. Maybe, we try to make everything so perfect that the real essence of it vanishes away — leaving us with unnecessary stress and worries.
Speaking of which, can you remember the last time you did something just to enjoy it without worrying about making it perfect?
Like when we were kids and playing was one of our hobbies? Even though you didn’t know how to join some of the plays back then, you were able to join anyway. Or how you used to sit down with truckloads of excitement to build sand castles even when (honestly) your castles sucked? Or how you wanted to help your mom in the kitchen even when you were too small to be of any good? Or how you used to call out your friends in the neighbourhood to play who is in the garden without worrying if that was right?
Where did that joy go?
How did we turn into these crazy-worried-irritated adults who are constantly trying to be better, and prove our worth based on how much more we can do in this one single lifetime?
How come we don’t have any hobbies anymore? How is it that we all are constantly trying to monetize every hobby/hour of our lives?
Why do we not want to do anything if it cannot help us make more money or grow our business?
The reality of our lives is — that we think enjoying is a waste of time and the same time could have been invested to learn a new on-demand skill or do more tasks so we can make more money.
Somehow we have started to believe that ‘enjoyment is earned.’ You are allowed to enjoy if you have done all your work, and if you haven’t done your work then enjoyment isn’t for you. You don’t deserve it.
We don’t let ourselves enjoy the simple pleasures of life because we think it’s a waste of time. Then we force ourselves to work, work, and work until we finally enter the top 1% club.
In between the journey, all we are left with is — stress and overthinking with no way to enjoy life. So, we go out of our way to find what we see as happiness like watching Netflix, Youtube, or reading books on ‘how to be happy.’
While joy or happiness wasn’t something to be found, it was always you needed to feel.
For example; In 2019, I was dealing with a lot of struggles. I was doing a lot of things but nothing seemed to work. I felt scared. And somewhere down the line, I started watching productive/success-based videos to see ‘What is the secret of success?’ Funny right?
After watching those videos and reading self-help books, I realized that maybe I am not doing enough. All these people who seem to have hacked their way to success — they have struggled in their lives and so this is what I should do. Maybe this phase is essential to get to success.
As a result, I started putting even more on my plate. I don’t remember doing a single thing that could be just for me — to feel joyful. I was either doing the work, watching motivational videos, or maybe reading more self-help books.
I started ‘living’ differently in late 2020 or early 2021. If I close my eyes and try to remember that year, I can feel the warmth of a slow and joyful life. Just by writing about it, I am feeling a sudden nostalgia.
However, if you ask me to remember 2019, I can barely tell you how I was feeling — maybe scared and restless. But other than that, I cannot tell much. That was my life back then.
The only difference was that — I allowed myself to feel joy without any reason. I set myself free.
Free from what?
Free from my fear of not being able to become successful. I had the mindset that if I didn’t work all the time, someone less intelligent than me would become more successful than me.
A common fear that society starts to feed us at a very young age. Hence, we don’t let ourselves enjoy. We think we will enjoy ONCE we become successful.
And until we realize that we don’t have to wait for ONCE to enjoy life, it’s usually too late. Either people get old or they become too frustrated to enjoy life even though they have all the money and titles.
In no language, I am asking you to not work or dream of making more money. Of course, it’s important.
But I am asking you to shift your fear:
Instead of fearing that you will not be able to become successful if you don’t work, BE AFRAID of living a dull-sad-stressed-out everyday life.
So, what am I suggesting?
Steal The Quiet Moments of Joy In Your Daily Life:
How about you steal some moments for yourself today and every day for the rest of your life?
Moments in between your day, be it 5 or 10 minutes, to enjoy the sweet little luxuries of life.
Like sitting beside your window and gazing out at the evening sky when the sun is setting down whilst showcasing its colours? Or waking up just a little early to read 5 pages from your favourite book (be it a fiction book or a religious one) or you could grab a cup of coffee, plug in your earpiece and meditate without any noise from the world? You can also end your day by writing down your feelings for the day.
Wouldn’t that be a beautiful way to live?
See you don’t have to give up your dreams to enjoy life, you just need to accept that life is happening every second and you are allowed to enjoy every single second as per your wish.
The only catch is — you have to want to ENJOY LIFE. You need to realize that you are holding yourself back from enjoying the little pleasures of life because the knots of fear are too tight in your mind. You need to set yourself free to Let Yourself Feel JOY For Life Without Any Reason.
I am sorry for the short break. I am back.