FEELING LIKE A BURDEN

Make it a habit of saying positive affirmations and validation words to yourself.

Her classmates are fond of taunting her about her being arrogant because she hardly relates to anyone in her class.

She is usually isolated from people around her even when she is going through difficult moments. She prefers to bottle up her emotions than to share them with others. Tawakalt constantly finds it difficult to seek help and emotional support from her loved ones due to fear of being a burden to them.

Photo by Bernard on Unsplash

A few years ago she once had a friend who had some health challenges and eventually gave up to ghosts. Her friend died because she was excessively evasive about herself and never shared her difficult moments with people even when she had to battle with perpetual excruciating pain.

Due to her parents' financial struggles, she believed sharing her pain would cause her parents discomfort and she didn't want to be a burden to them. Every night, she would wallow in her misery and cry herself to slumber, and during the day she always appeared to be cheerful, and carefree as though nothing was wrong with her to such an extent that people failed to notice her pains.

Coupled with the fact that her parents hardly stay at home but leave home to fend for the family's needs.

However, she had a diary where she journaled her thoughts and pain she had been experiencing but failed to share with anybody. It was after her death that they realized what she had been going through.

Her parents were devastated and guilty of failing to observe their child when she was going through hell. Tawakalt was shocked when she received the news of her friend's death as she was the only friend she had. She became melancholy and pathetic, feeling guilty for not being a good friend to someone who had always been there to listen to her conversations and rants.

After she had been buried, Tawakalt went into her friend's room to feel her presence but she saw her diary beneath her bed.

As a young teenager that she was, she kept the diary to herself without acknowledgment.

After reading her diary, She felt pained, disappointed, and sad that she couldn't support her friend when she needed her the most. As she reminisced about her past she kept blaming herself and also felt she had been burdening her friend with her problems because she was always the one having the most conversation.

Since then she decided not to seek emotional support or speak to anyone about her pains. She began to find it difficult to ask for help from people, even her loved ones.

She sees herself as a burden in addition to the many expectations and responsibilities placed on her at a young age by her parents. She would always find all means to stay independent because she thought she needed nobody's support. Do you also find it difficult to seek help from people due to fear of being a burden? If yes, I want to let you know that you are not alone in this.

Photo by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash

Feeling like a burden is a common feeling many people experience. It is when you are frequently afraid of inconveniencing and bothering others for your needs. This feeling often holds you back from seeking help, emotional support and also being your authentic self.

It is the dynamic belief that we should always be responsible for everything ourselves instead of relying on others. But do you know that vulnerability isn't a sign of weakness. Feeling like a burden usually stems from;

Low self-esteem.

parental expectations from childhood, Having either a physical or mental ailment that requires extra care and support but seeking help every time makes you feel like a burden.

When you are always dismissed by people, it makes you wonder if you are a burden to people around you and also unworthy of their time and energy.

This feeling can be overcome and I will be sharing five practical strategies that will help you crush feeling like a burden.

1. Work on building your self-esteem: Since low self-esteem is the cornerstone of these feelings in most cases. investing in your personal growth by setting clear and achievable goals for yourself as that will boost your self-esteem.

Make it a habit of saying positive affirmations and validation words to yourself. Spending time doing what you love and the people you love will help in building your self-esteem.

2. Reframing your perspective about any situation you find yourself in: Instead of bothering about how people will feel if you seek their help, why don't you change your perspective?

Ask yourself, If the table turns around how would I feel to be of support to my loved ones?

Happy and fulfilled to help right? Exactly!

That is how they also feel to be of help to you.

You are worthy of being loved and have your needs met as they are. People you love also want to support you just as you want to support them.

3. Instead of always apologizing for seeking people's help and support, change your apology to appreciation. For instance, if someone gives you attention rather than apologizing for taking their time, appreciate them instead by saying Thank you for taking your time to listen to me and not apologize for taking your time.

4. Stop focusing on people's emotional state before seeking emotional support from them, let them be the ones to decide whether to help you or not because that's the mistake many of us make, whenever we need support from people we often try to convince ourselves that they already have their problems which tends to make us hold ourselves back from seeking support.

A problem shared is halved solved. Speak up and don't bottle those emotions.

5. Visit a mental health therapist; if the feeling becomes perpetual and you are unable to eliminate it, share your feelings with a therapist so that you can be provided the right coping strategies that will help to overcome the feeling of burden.

In conclusion, feeling like a burden can be taxing as it is a negative feeling that will always hinder you from having your needs met by the right people. By using the strategy above you will be able to overcome this feeling.

Written by; Masturah Sulyamãn