Negative opinions; how much does it affect you?

And that was the problem. The world doesn’t exactly work that way. People will think you have ‘derailed’ or that you need to stop doing that thing you love because it doesn’t work for them.

Well, today’s newsletter might be different from others. Mostly because this is a vulnerable one and I am NOT someone who loves to play the HARD GUY.

Because once in a while, hard guy takes a back seat and the emotional part takes the wheel. 

For the past weeks, I have been an extremely different person. The doctor had told me I needed a good rest to get back in shape because I had had a series of mental breakdowns all over, and my emotions were in a complete and utter mess. It didn’t help that my anxiety also started to skyrocket because I really quit some of my daily routines to focus on how to get better. It has not been easy. 

Another one was a rejection mail I received amidst all. I felt like a failure. People were also sending messages to know what was going on as I also took a short break from posting suitable content on my status on Whatsapp. What was I doing with my life? I had to be consistent or my relevance would fly out the window. Isn’t that what they say on the social media space?

So I took my medicated glasses and took out my phone to drop some piece of content that had been on my mind for a while as usual. After ensuring it has been sent, I worked for a few hours, at least, my piece would impact a soul out there, I thought and I felt a tiny sense of accomplishment. Done, I put my phone on airplane and treated myself to a good sleep.

As much as I love the feeling that comes with the ‘thank you for putting out these, it helped a lot’ I get, they also trigger my anxiety not because I wrote nonsense but because I am never sure of how my audience will react to what I put out. However that day, I decided to check them and the first one was “Your post does not follow at all”.

To me, this means ‘don’t you see that we do not find your content relevant anymore? Maybe you should go back to get it right, It is getting stale!’

GOD! Was all that came out of my mouth with a deep sigh.

I dropped my phone instantly, and my heart sank to the bottom of my stomach. Normally, I don’t let people’s comments get into me but this didn’t help at all. I was having such a rough moment in my life. The worst I’ve had in the past seven to eight months. And now this? It was as if life had my time this month and I was collecting left and right. 

As I said, comments like these aren’t new to me. Having an audience means you’re a target and a lot of expectations will be demanded from you, whether you like it or not. Most do not even care whether you need are entitled to your mental health or not, Just dish out something for them to feast on.

However, this person’s comment got me and for the first time, I believed it. It was true.

I myself knew I wasn't growing at the rate I wanted. I lost something precious a few weeks ago. My laptop had been seized by mom on a few occasions just for me to regain my lost energy. The doctor had placed me on bed rest and even had to suggest something that I’m still scared of. Lately, something didn’t seem to be working anymore and honestly, I found it hard to be consistent because creativity is tricky, especially when you’re going through a lot and I was going THROUGH IT.

I curled into a ball and stayed there until hunger came to greet me. My stomach was like “Guy, be like say you no know wetin dey xup, woh me sha want to eat. If you want to use thinking kill yourself na u sabi.”

I got up, went into the kitchen to take a cup, took gaari, four groundnuts and pour. This combo had always been my best in situations like this.

After a few hours of munching and staring absentmindedly, I thought about the comment and why it seemed to affect me so much and I arrived at this answer.

I love what I do. I REALLY love what I do. I love impacting and making people feel better without feeling stupid. And because I love it so much, I expect that people will love it too.

And that was the problem. The world doesn’t exactly work that way. People will think you have ‘derailed’ or that you need to stop doing that thing you love because it doesn’t work for them. But why should you? To please them? Then what? What then do you achieve? What do they achieve? What’s the ultimate prize for stopping?

I am not saying I completely got over the comment. I don’t think I did. For all I know, the person may be right. But I choose to dictate how it affects me. Am I really going to abandon something that makes me happy because of someone I don’t know? Or am I going to keep at it and get better?

I chose the latter.

But I haven’t gotten over myself. I am still following orders to get back and give myself a good break.

I hope that you read this letter and double down on doing what you love. Do it unabashedly, like a poem I once wrote, ‘Passion's Flight’.

In life, we're blessed to find a passion,

Something that ignites our soul's fashion.

A love that fills us with such joy,

A purpose that can never annoy.

With every step, we feel the beat,

Our hearts quicken with each move of our feet.

Our minds are at peace, as we do what we love,

An escape from the world, to our hearts we do shove.

The world may tell us to choose what's right,

But our passion will guide us to what's bright.

We may face obstacles, but our love won't falter,

It's the fire that fuels us, and makes us stronger.

In doing what we love, we find ourselves,

A true expression of our unique selves.

So let us pursue our passions with all our might,

And let our souls take flight, as we take flight.

Metaphors and personification,

Help paint a picture of our realization.

Our passion is a fire that fuels us,

And our hearts are the sails that move us.

Let us not be afraid to chase our dreams,

For doing what we love is more than it seems.

It's a way of life, a true expression of our soul,

A journey that makes us whole.

And how are you going to grow if you let people stop you?

Till next time,

Abdussamad.