Now That You Are In Your Twenties

Instead of fixating on where you think you should be by a certain age, focus on the journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

I turned twenty something recently and it changed my perspective of life. It usually happens often when you reach a certain age. I wanted to become a pilot when I was 11, a Lawyer when I was 15 and a doctor when I turned 17.

People often start their sentences with “Get good grades and your life will be sorted”. So I did as they said and excelled in my classes.

Then they changed to “Get into a good University and your life will be sorted”. Even though I got in late, I did get admitted. I entered one of the most prestigious universities in Nigeria but guess what, the confusion and dilemmas did not go away. Lol.

From the beginning of your life, you are mostly told what to do and how to be happy in your life.

Study the BEST course or they choose a course for you -> Get into a good University and you must get a job which pays good -> Start a family

Is this all that life is about?

I know I am not the smartest person to tell you what matters in your 20s because I have not lived them all yet — I’m still midway. But maybe I am the person who can tell you the truth without sugarcoating it. The blunt truth about how I will live the rest of my 20s

Embrace the Journey, Not the Destination

I know this is a weird age to be in. Some of them are studying the best course. Some of your friends are already earning twice as you are right now. Some as getting married and having kids. Some are living their dream of travelling around the world.

In your eyes, everyone around you is doing better in life than you currently are — be it financially, spiritually or emotionally. This just keeps making you doubt yourself.

You’ve had different problems in your life and you’ve had to face them alone. Your twenties are not about proving anyone wrong, they’re about finding the things that make you happy. Embrace the twists and turns, the highs and lows, and the unexpected detours that shape your path.

So, instead of fixating on where you think you should be by a certain age, focus on the journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

Pursue Passion with Purpose

Let me tell you a secret. I have a certificate in computer hardware engineering. So after spending all my money and time on getting this certificate, I should logically be pursuing computer engineering — working for firms and quietly getting my money or set up my firm.

For some time after graduating, yes, I did that. But the way I was living was eating me away. Waking up before the sun rises, doing all sorts I do not want to mention here but in short, I was unhappy

So I left the place even though my parents did not find it funny. Who leaves a computer engineering work for writing, they said. But I was determined and pursued what I loved, started building myself and connected with people globally. Look, It was one of the toughest times as I was not making a dime and not to talk about sad remarks I got for always staying at home. Life of a freelancer, lol.

If I had not left then, I wouldn’t have the courage to leave it ever and would not have pursued my interests.

Your twenties are where you pursue your passions. Find the things you love and experiment as much as possible. You’re just out in the adult life — think of it as your second birth.

Photo by Dave Ruck on Unsplash

Make mistakes. Take chances. Do what you love.

Take Good Care of Yourself

An advice to me first. Heyy, don’t compromise your health.

That’s it. Your decisions and habits today shape the person you’re going to be. This is your time to make the most of your body and energy. Go out for runs. Pick a sport and play it frequently. Don’t just sit in front of your phone or watch movies all day (no matter how leisurely it may be).

Eat healthy and sleep early.

It’s easy to neglect your physical and mental health in the hustle and bustle of life, but your twenties are the perfect time to prioritize self-care. Start by nourishing your body with nutritious food, getting regular exercise, and making time for activities that bring you joy and fulfilment. Remember, taking care of yourself now will pay dividends in the long run.

Dreams Require Sacrifice

If you have big dreams, be prepared to make big sacrifices.

Success rarely comes easy, and achieving your goals will demand hard work, dedication, and perseverance. You’ll have to learn how to say NO.

Your friends will be out partying. Someone will call you to come out and spend it in a way that you don’t want to. Now I’m not saying to skip all social gatherings. I’m saying you should learn how to pick which gathering you want to go to.

It means putting in the hours, making sacrifices, and staying committed to your vision, even when the going gets tough. Remember, every sacrifice brings you one step closer to your dreams.

Live Like a Typical Singleton

Make as many memories as you can, and it requires you to step out of your comfort zone. To put it in an even better way. Seek Discomfort

Before getting anything ask yourself — “Do I need it or do I want it”

The day you master answering this question truthfully — you’re going to save so much time and money. Live on things that make your life easy not comfortable. Step out with your friends, go to parties and socialise but never at an expense where your work or personal life suffers.

Don’t hesitate to make new friends and talk to more people. You’ll be surprised at how much you can learn from a diverse group of people.

Teach Yourself What Your School Didn’t Teach

Learn skills. Start learning about them as soon as possible. I enrolled myself in online classes that taught me how run some codes.

Your twenties will teach you that there are so many things that you should’ve learned a long time ago but since no one else taught you, you’ll have to teach these things to yourself. You’ll have to put in the extra hours and make yourself smarter — never shy away from these opportunities.

Be hungry for knowledge and save money where you can.

People Will Change, Don’t Force It

As you are mitigating your twenties, you’ll notice that the behaviour of some people around you is changing. Sometimes it is a good change, sometimes it reeks of trouble.

You’ll find that a friend is distancing themselves from you or your thoughts just no longer align. Know that it is no one's fault. They are also growing with time and discovering themselves. Everyone is in a journey of their own and you cannot force people to remain the same. You have to grow too.

It’s heartbreaking because you’re growing apart from people you thought would play a big role in your future, and making good friends again can sound like extremely hard. It takes a lot more work to see and spend time with friends, and at times you will realize they’re not willing to put in the effort.

You cannot expect people to take care of you like you take care of them. With time, you will find the people who stick with you and are happy to make room for you in your life.

Know You’re Enough

Maybe nothing matters in your twenties. Maybe everything does. Maybe you’ll find the answers early. Maybe you’ve figured it all out already.

There is no right way you can live your life but there is only one thing that never changes — know your value and know you’re enough.

In case no one has told you yet — you’re not supposed to have it all figured out. It’s okay if you’re taking time to pave your way. Take this time to understand what you want from your life and live it without fearing any societal pressures. I wish you the best in life.