The Silent War Between Who You Were and Who You Want to Be

The chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken." — Warren Buffett

The hardest battle you will ever fight isn’t with the world. It’s not against circumstances, competition, or even time. It’s against yourself or more precisely, the version of yourself that refuses to let go of comfort, distraction, and mediocrity.

This battle is silent. It happens in the choices no one sees. The split second between hitting snooze or getting up. The moment you reach for your phone instead of your book. The decision to let today slip into "I’ll do better tomorrow."

For many, Ramadan (or any period of intense discipline) feels like stepping into a version of ourselves that is clear-headed, determined, and aligned. But then, something terrifying happens—we start slipping back.

Why?

Because the old self, the one shaped by years of habits, distractions, and excuses—is still there, waiting. And if you’re not intentional, it will pull you right back.

Photo by Khashayar Kouchpeydeh on Unsplash

How to Win the War Against Your Old Self

1. Realize That Change Is an Identity Shift, Not a Phase

One of the biggest mistakes people make is thinking that discipline is just a temporary effort. They view it as a sprint, something to endure for a short while. However, real transformation isn’t about finishing a race but about becoming a different kind of person.

You don’t just act disciplined for a while. You become the person who values discipline.

You don’t just pray, meditate, or reflect more during a special season. You become someone who is always deeply connected.

You don’t just eat better, think better, or work better for a month. You become someone who operates at a different level.

Ask yourself: What kind of person do I need to become to make this my normal?

2. Beware of the "Slow Fade"

Regress doesn’t happen in a single moment. It’s a slow fade. You compromise once. Then again. Then again. Until the progress you made feels like a distant memory.

The trick? Catch yourself early.

• Notice when you start skipping the habits that made you feel strong.

• Notice when you start rationalizing excuses.

• Notice when the "I'll do better tomorrow" mindset returns.

Small compromises seem harmless but they are the first signs of slipping back. Stay awake. Stay aware.

3. The "One Growth" Rule: Set Up Barriers Between You and Regression

If you want to stop falling into old patterns, make it hard for your old self to win. Set up barriers between you and your old ways.

• If you want to keep your clarity, control your inputs. Unfollow accounts that distract you. Limit screen time.

• If you want to keep your discipline, create accountability. Have a friend check in on you.

• If you want to stay focused, physically change your environment. A messy space, unstructured days, and unfiltered influences are breeding grounds for falling back.

Make the wrong path inconvenient and the right path effortless.

4. Have a Post-Ramadan (or Post-Reset) Growth Plan

Most people don’t struggle because they don’t want to grow. They struggle because they don’t have a plan. Clarity kills confusion.

Write this down:

• What are three things I want to maintain from my peak discipline moments?

• What are two things I must eliminate that will drag me back?

• What is one non-negotiable habit I will protect no matter what?

Growth is not a wish. It’s a strategy.

The Brutal Truth: You Will Be Tested

Every time you level up, life will test whether you are serious about it. The old temptations will return. The old struggles will resurface.

Not to break you.

But to ask you: Do you really want this?

The people who change their lives aren’t the ones who never fall. They are the ones who refuse to stay down.

You are no longer who you were. Do not go back.

Keep rising,
Mutmainnah