They Must Not Die

So I dreamt about building something I could call my own. Something that could separate me from the rest.

I’m going to turn 20+ soon. So fast?

Youthful and full of boundless ideas, you can't help but wonder whether you're ahead of your time or falling behind. Is time your ally, or has it slipped through your grasp?

There was a time when I thought I wanted to become a pilot. I started reading about aircraft and read lots of books. But then I started admiring lawyers and all of a sudden, I wanted to be one. I loved the profession so much that it was all I could think about. To make it deeper, one of my dad’s friends was a former chief judge of the state. Maybe I had a chance, you know? But then the graphics design revolution happened and I hastily declared that wanted to become a designer. I didn’t know where to begin. I needed a laptop, I needed to know editing and I also had to speak well. I tried. But a few designs later, I settled that I was probably embarrassing myself and should find something more realistic.

And soon enough, everything became irrelevant. Dad wanted me to be a computer scientist, probably an engineer because I loved to operate computers and I am amazing when it comes to sciences. I wasn’t particularly good at calculations but the idea of making computers work was enchanting. I could learn and study it, I thought.

But I couldn’t get myself to believe in that dream even though I am now a fully grown computer hardware engineer. So I chose to study what I was really good at — writing. I also realized I didn’t want my job to be the only thing people remembered me for. So I dreamt about building something I could call my own. Something that could separate me from the rest. Hence, the Kaatib Dynasty.

I wasn't discontent with my life, but a persistent yearning within me suggested I had untapped potential. My mind often wandered into the realm of possibilities. I envisioned a life filled with extensive travel, thriving as a podcast host, and becoming the fittest, most impactful version of myself.

Photo by Benjamin Voros on Unsplash

I know that everything seems possible when you start dreaming about it. You think you can have the aura of a motivational speaker until you start speaking. You think you can make a great businessperson until you see that only a couple of your friends buy your product. You think you’re ready to do away from your parents until it’s time to quit.

What I’m trying to say is that we are all beautiful people with a bunch of broken dreams. We walk past each other not knowing that we all once wanted to be someone else, someone big. I once had discussions with a doctor who told me he had once dreamt of being a football. My big sis lived all her childhood, wanting to be a doctor but ended up studying chemistry. And I am sure you have friends not knowing that they too, once dreamt of a life different from the one they live.

I refuse to accept that my dreams are out of reach, and that time is slipping away.

There's a vast expanse of life yet to be experienced. Allow me to embrace my immaturity, to relish the joy of learning something new, even if I stumble along the way.

My aspirations are boundless. I yearn to explore myriad paths, to lead lives rich with experiences. I aspire to become an eloquent speaker, to etch my name in the annals of world-changing impacts. I aim to host a podcast for as long as I can, to discover a second home in a distant land, and, yes, to fall in love. Lol.

Not every dream may come to fruition, but I'm determined not to let any of them wither away.

To You, My dear reader……..

Start as little as you can. Want to be a writer? Write a little whenever you can. Capture as many memories as you can.

One day, one step at a time. Keep moving.

I don’t want you to forget your dreams. Because the day you do, you’ll have lost a part of yourself that you once really wished for. And I think that’s the most tragic thing to ever experience — the death of your dreams before you die.

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I must apologise to everyone for my small break. Never knew it was going to take so long but I’m glad to be back. Thank you for being here, always.